Coaching Principles for success
As a Personal Development Coach who uses hypnosis to help you maximise success I ask you, as a prospective client, to adopt and adhere to a set of principles that I also will actively seek to stick to:
COACHING AS COLLABORATION BETWEEN EQUALS
I, as a coach am not a guru, a sage or a superior being with limitless knowledge about how to be happy and successful. I am not here to fix you or give you advice or tell you what to do. I am here to help you find your own answers and generate your own perfect solutions. Coaching is not about being passive or placid and the measure of your success is equal to your capacity to actively engage in the process.
BE HONEST, TRUTHFUL and AUTHENTIC
Our coaching relationship is based on mutual trust: trust in keeping confidentiality, being honest about our thoughts and emotions and not saying something to gain approval or because it’s what we imagine the other wants to hear. Being open to authentic communication is essential for the coaching process to work.
SURRENDER TO THE PRESENT
Surrendering to the present is essential if we want to be able to move forward. Accepting this is where we’re at right now, accepting our situation and the way we feel about it is the stepping stone to creating a better future. Trying to avoid what is happening right by focusing on the past, what ‘should’ be or what what we don’t want means wasting energy that could be better used in becoming open to the possibilities for change inherent in what we are experiencing right now.
LET GO OF JUDGEMENT
With judgement of ourselves and others comes shame and blame, which will only keep us stuck in the negative. The invitation here is to become aware of when we get caught up in judgement so we can focus instead on what is helpful.
TAKE RESPONSE-ABILITY to EMPOWER YOURSELF
It is important that you put yourself at cause. Do you prefer complaining about problems rather than talking about solutions? Do you frequently blame other people or things for your problems or do you own your own problems? Do you complain that things aren’t fair or can you acknowledge your own influence in creating situations? Taking responsibility is not about self blame. It is about realising nobody is going to save you or give you the answers you seek. It is about moving away from helplessness and victim mentality as if life is something that happens to you to being in charge of your own reality, with the power to create and reinvent yourself.
BE WILLING TO INTROSPECT and ENGAGE with the PROCESS OF INNER DISCOVERY
I sometimes joke that you’re only allowed one “I don’t know’ in a session. This is to encourage you to look deeper within and discover what is easily side stepped with the “I don’t know” answer. Of course hypnosis is always very helpful in cases when you are truly feeling stuck so you can use a deeper awareness to find out answers that may have consciously evaded you.
BE ACCOUNTABLE for KEEPING YOUR AGREEMENTS / CARRYING OUT TASKS
You are your word. You are the measure for how much you show up. Your commitment is the measure of your success. Commitment means giving a task 100%. When agreeing on tasks it important to voice our mutual expectations and to bring unspoken or unmet expectations to the table. You need to communicate your needs and contribute to the pace of the process so that we make sure we are going as slow/ fast as it is helpful for you to achieve your goals. As an active participant you are invited to either agree or disagree with a suggested task or to re-negotiate a task that fits your needs.
BE WILLING TO STAY WITH a BIT of DISCOMFORT – CHALLENGE YOURSELF
Discomfort is sometimes necessary to achieve goals. Challenges are opportunities for growth. Problems contain an inner gift that allows us to go beyond what we thought was possible. Stepping out of our comfort zone is necessary to moving towards our dreams. This is something to relish as it is your way to know that you are pushing yourself enough to grow while keeping the confidence that you need to manifest your goals without feeling overwhelmed.